From the time my first symptoms had begun appearing, I began seeking help from specialists. I sought help from an internist, a surgeon, an orthopedist, a neurologist, an ophthalmologist, an audiologist, and an endocrinologist. The results from all of my examinations were positive and did not lead to finding the cause of my discomfort.
Finally, I saw a specialist in muscular diseases in the hospital who diagnosed me with myasthenia gravis. It is an incurable muscular disease which can only be alleviated with potent psychotropic drugs or major surgery on the thymus gland.
I began feeling worse and worse over time, despite my initial resistance to the idea, began taking my prescribed medication. I soon noticed that I was becoming addicted to them. They worked like a drug- following their use, the symptoms of the disease would disappear and I felt strong, healthy and as if I could fly. Anxiety disappeared and I cold enjoy life. But after only a few hours, I felt even worse than before, my entire body was limp, my head felt heavy, I couldn’t concentrate, I felt a numbness, my feet hurt even more and there was a strange tightness in my chest. I felt a strong inner hunger to reach for a new tablet. My legs had begun to stiffen until I finally started limping on one of them. The doctor doubled my daily dose. But I was terribly scared of what was going to happen to me so I decided to limit my dose of the drug on my own accord, which resulted in weakening me physically.
My visits to doctors were a daily event. I went from specialist to specialist. But so what considering no one could help and I felt worse and worse. The doctors shrugged and re-prescribed vitamins, recommended walks, etc, and some felt that the source of my symptoms was beyond the physical.
One of the doctors, not knowing what to do with me, once said, “You’re such a young lady, so why then do you have so many ailments?” So I tried to tough it out on my own and somehow managed to endure. Thanks to God and prayer, I survived the most difficult period in my life up to that point.
One day I felt so bad, I could hardly move independently. I literally couldn’t stand up, my dizziness intensified and I couldn’t keep my balance. So I went to another neurologist, who prescribed potent psychotropic drugs to me. However, after a month, I had to discontinue their use. My symptoms intensified after a month of using the drugs and I was so weak that I could barely manage to perform simple, daily tasks. And so I discontinued their use and came to the conclusion that yet another attempt at pharmacological treatment was a failure.
At the time, many of my friends had recommended various healers and bio-energy therapists, and spoke of the effectiveness of their treatments. But I rejected the notion of such a solution and didn’t consider it. I was convinced that it wasn’t for me. Additionally, I feared these types of treatments could cause more harm than good. Indeed, I had heard of more than one fatal incident of the kind.
My status at the time was one that could be described as me hitting rock bottom. I strongly yearned to return to a normal and healthy life. I often told my self that there must be some way back to normalcy. So I desperately looked on for a solution.
I considered my situation and wondered what I should do next. Finally, I came to a conclusion. It seemed logical to me: if medicine could not help me return to a normal life, only a miracle could save me! Thus, my only rescue was through God. And for him, nothing is impossible. So I decided to turn to God with a prayer for help.